Why is it so Hard Sometimes to Find the Feeling of Gratitude?
Have you ever pulled out your gratitude journal and everything you wrote in it felt flat, kinda empty, lacking depth and true gratitude? Or you just have no idea what to write, so you end up putting down that you're grateful for peanut butter because it's good and your toes because they keep you balanced?
The whole idea behind keeping a gratitude journal is to be in a STATE OF GRATITUDE. But what is that? And how do you get there?
I personally have been unable to reach that state using journals that ask you to write three or five things each day. They also then suggest that you write those 3-5 things down when you first wake up or right before you go to bed. It's a scheduled task, rather than a connection to the part of you that is in awe of all the wonder and loveliness around you. At least that has been my experience.
So how do we shift that? All I can tell you is what I have done.
How do you Actually FEEL the Feeling of Gratitude?
I made myself a journal that did not have a space to write the date. It did not keep track of how many things I wrote each day. It was open-ended, from 1-2730. And instead of calling it a gratitude journal or writing things down I am "grateful for," I called it Proof of Good.
I love it because I can write just one thing if I want to or I can write 50. Sometimes those longer lists are the ones that help me feel the feeling the most because when you write a long list, you get through all the basic things (like the peanut butter and the toes) and you arrive in a place of honest thankfulness and appreciation.
I then went through my days looking for proof of good in my life, in the world, in my experiences. It changed the WHOLE game for me because I was spending my whole day looking for an observing the goodness, rather than just two minutes in the morning or in the evening.
Here's a list of the kinds of things you could write in a journal like this. Feel free to steal them and incorporate them into your life:
- Something you did
- Something you (or someone) said
- A happy thought you had
- An act of kindness you witnessed or performed
- A note of gratitude for someone or something
- Something beautiful you saw, heard, or noticed
- Something good about your __________ (family, friend, pet, life, house, self)
Gratitude Becomes a Way of Living your Life
Rather than writing, “I am grateful for…” over and over, just keep your eyes open for good things that happen to you and around you each day, things that made you laugh, made you sigh, made you think. This approach comes with the feeling of appreciation already built-in. A feeling that is hard to summon on-demand just because we've declared it "gratitude time."
As you use your journal daily, it will become a habit to keep an eye out for good things throughout your day because you will be looking forward to writing them down in your book. You can even carry it with you so you can write when the muse strikes or you can wait until the end of your day, either one is perfectly fine. This practice will help train your mind to look for the positives and keep you ever-aware of all the goodness in your life and will help you become a magnet for more of it.
The Journal I Made
If you're like, "I want a journal like that!" I am linking it here for you because I actually made it available for people to buy. The magic is in the simplicity of the process. The flexibility of it and the intention of filling it out as you walk through your daily life practicing being in a state of wonder and appreciation.
Love you! I hope this was helpful. You can find the journal here :)